When I look back at photo’s from my wedding day, it brings up some incredible memories; however, it also reminds me of things I wish I had done differently, in particular, my biggest regret!
My biggest wedding regret was not writing my own personalised vows to my Hubby. Our Celebrant gave us the option to do so, but because I was so nervous and had no idea what to say, we decided to choose our vows from a numbered document. If only we had trusted ourselves to speak our own words.
What we ended up saying to each other was lovely, but it could have been so much better! I wish I had ignored my doubts, my nerves and my fears and taken a risk. And in hindsight, a risk that would have paid off.
Now a lot of couples think that their vows should sound like something written by Shakespeare – they couldn’t be more wrong! Vows can be anything you would like them to be. It’s your wedding day, your love, your story and your feelings; this should be expressed in the best way possible – in your own words.
I often get asked if vows should be filled with promises. They can be but they don’t have to! Vows can be statements, proclamations of love, little stories and funny memories, quirky habits, or future wishes. I’ve had couples ask each other questions in their vows which had responses. I’ve had stories about first meetings and when there was love at first sight. If you can think of it, you can say it. Outside of the legal wording, which needs to be said of course, let you creative juices flow and just give it a go!
Why not deliver surprise vows at your wedding ceremony?! I love when my couples choose this option because the impact is so awesome. As your Celebrant, I keep your vows to myself until your ceremony, and then when it gets to that part of your ceremony – mind-blowing, goosebumps, tears, laughs – a total memorable experience for all!
Here are some tips on writing great vows:
- Say the things you would like your partner to say to you;
- Write honestly, truthfully, and authentically;
- Write how you normally would speak;
- Write dot points if that helps to get the ball rolling;
- Give each other a “brief” to work to, for example, start the sentences the same – I love you because ……… and finish it on your own;
- Another “brief” can be capping the amount of sentences you are going to say whilst writing in a similar way, for example – 2 sentences about our love, 2 sentences about the future, 2 sentences about funny things in our relationship;
- Sit down and write them together – this is also a gorgeous way to reflect your love in your own words;
- Try and enjoy your vows, writing them and reading them – it should be a memorable experience for all the right reasons;
- As your Celebrant, I provide examples of vows – read them and get inspiration;
- Think about movies, songs, books that your partner likes – are they of any use?
- Use your Celebrant to check over your vows, if you are having surprise vows – they should provide honest feedback and help keep you on track!
Your wedding ceremony should be a reflection of you, so don’t be afraid to ask your Celebrant questions about how to do that.
Encourage and support each other to give writing your vows a go! You won’t regret it!
Tricia King rocking photo!